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What are you doing for the Clysm?

With Cataclysm only a week away, I thought I would ask my Ninjas what their plans are. I'm still on the fence as to whether I take the day off work and play the game like a fiend...or decide I don't give a shit and just play it when I feel like it.

All I do know is that I'm hoping my local Fry's Electronics is having a release party so that I can stand in a freezing stinking nerd line at midnight to get my collectors edition!

Yes, I totally support the move to digital downloads...but I have all 3 of the previous ones and I feel like I kind of have to ride it out.

By the way, the title of Clysm (pronounced Klizzum) came from some guy at BlizzCon. Nobody calls it that...NinjaCamp calls it that!
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Turkey coma

I guess the turkey coma hasn't faded from the gaming industry yet because there is absolutely no worthwhile news to report.

The only thing I have to talk about is my recent quest for a new keyboard and mouse, which I'm sure my Ninjas don't really find all that interesting…but I'll rant about it anyway.

I can tell you that my existing peripherals suck, and I'm on the fence as to weather I can get something better. Here are the major problems: first, I like "bendy" keyboards. Typically the Microsoft curve is the style which best suits my nimble ninja fingers.

Unfortunately these keyboards suck for gaming. The key ghosting is horrible and the response rate isn't much better.

I could easily switch to any of the 50 or so gaming keyboards on the market to resolve my issues, however then I need to tolerate one of the non-ergonomic designs that the industry keeps pooping out. Yeah 20 year old concepts…assholes.

The mouse problem isn't much better than last year. I ended up buying the Microsoft SideWinder X8 because I liked the price and the wirelessness, but as of late it's only hitting about 70% of my clicks while playing World of Warcraft.

With Cataclysm on the horizon, I know I'm going to be spending some time back in the trenches, thus I'd like to have a mouse which works more often than not.

I guess I'll turn I over to my loyal Ninjas for advice. Tell us what your favorite tools for mass video game murder are. Maybe, if you are lucky, I'll honor your opinion and make the switch.



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Cyber Monday NinjaCamp T-Shirt Deal!

Although Cyber Monday still sounds like some sort of national internet porn celebration to me, I still find it necessary to tell my Ninjas about this kick-ass deal from SpreadShirt!

Simply plug in either the US or Canadian code on shop.ninjacamp.com to save yourself some money on your required holiday T-Shirt purchases.

So get shopping! Seriously...we need some fucking money for our new xmas weapons!
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Unreal Engine 3 now looks more unreal

In case you missed it (which I'm sure you did because only Ninjas like myself read everything about video gaming) the Unreal Engine is about to get a whole lot better!

Watch this!


Hell yeah! Bring on the directional light shafts and cascaded shadow maps...ninja needs a new Gears of War!
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Happy Turkey Day


Now get back to gaming!
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How about a little Ice for that broken liver?

Despite what may be the first sign of the impending horrible dialog, this new Mortal Kombat trailer gets me hard as ice.


Actually, I'm more of a Scorpion man myself...but either way, the game is looking interesting.
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Splatterhouse returns

Here's 30 minutes of Splatterhouse play courtesy of Giant Bomb.

Normally I wouldn't re-blog about this since it's kind of a huge spoiler, but I've been on the fence about this game ever since it was announced. I was a huge fan of the original on the TurboGrafx-16, but I wasn't sure if this new version would be worth the money.


After reviewing the video, I can certainly say this is the bloodiest game I've ever seen. It actually looks like it may also be fun? I don't know, judge for yourself. I just figured I'd toss it out there for my Ninjas' opinions.
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I've arrived in Ninjahio

Sorry for the late post, I had to take the long and arduous back to our ninja homeland in order to consult with The Great Kielbasa regarding KielbasaCon 2011.

You see, this year we plan on holding the biggest KielbasaCon yet, and it is necessary for me to consult with The Great Kielbasa in order to make sure the con is up to his standards.

So far, the trip has been a success, however I did manage to forget my belt. As soon as I stop by the local ninja depot, I'll be right back on track.

Stay tuned for impending KBX 2K11 details!


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Honor in blogging

With this link, I can honestly say that our fellow bloggers have no honor.

Two days ago Blizzard Entertainment listed a few job postings for the Diablo 3 team, some of which included the term "console."

As we know, Blizzard has never officially ruled out console development. Furthermore, as stated during BlizzCon 2010, Blizzard will continue to explore new possibilities as they see fit.


Ya, old news right? Well not to 1UP.com. These fucking no honor ass hats go and post an article titled "Diablo III Coming to Consoles." Really!? So you're telling me that it's now fair game for huge blog shops, that already make a tremendous amount of money, to derive explicit titles from fragmented keywords in job postings?

Oh well fuck...why stop there?

NinjaCamp Exclusive, Gears of War 4 will be in 3D! My cousin's brother's sister's alpaca said that Cliffy B watched a 3D movie the other day and liked it. Wait!! What's that? This just in...World of Warcraft's next expansion to feature a hand knitted poop sock! OMG, No fucking way! My dog just told me that the next Zelda game is going to feature a 20 minute rape scene!

See...it's not that hard when you just pull "facts" out of your ass!

Come on 1UP.com. You really need more web traffic? Can't bare to let the little guys get a stray hit every once in a while?

Well...guess what...NinjaCamp wants to fight you now! Maybe you didn't see how our fight with WoW.com would have gone. You just got your name added to the death list! Nice job.
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Son of a Dick!

I didn't think I could get any more excited for Epic Games' upcoming shoot/kick/whip/bloodbath Bullet Storm...and then I saw this new trailer.


With lines like "pull up your skirt, and slap that dildo on" I'm pretty sure this is going to be the best game ever!

I can honestly say I'm looking more forward to this game than I am to Gears of War 3, and that's a bold statement. Releasing 2/22/2011 for Xbox360, PS3, and PC you can expect my ass front and center at the local games emporium.
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It's only 3D cause it knows where you are

Since I reference this all of the time, I figured I might as well post it on the site for those of you who haven't seen it.


What you will learn from this video is that 3D is only a perception. Over the next few years, the industry will be pumping out games where you sit on your couch wearing a pair of polarized glasses and get treated to a viewmaster sort of "3D." However, in my opinion, true 3D won't be available until your TV or game console can knows where you are, and how you view the content.

Obviously this becomes a challenge with multiple gamers in the same space, but it's easily fixed by deciding that you don't give a shit about how your friends view the game.

I'm not sure why we haven't seen any examples like this in the real world, but I'm confident that the first company to push forward with this type of 3D is going to have a real successful game on their hands.
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Remember Hexen?

If you're an old ninja like me, you might remember a little Raven Software game called Hexen Beyond Heretic. Hell, you might even remember staying up all night playing it, with the lights out, and a bottle of jergens. (Yes, I get aroused by video games)

Anyway...it's now obvious that I wasn't the only ninja waiting for a sequel. The guys at HexenMod.com did something I couldn't and actually worked really hard to create a follow-up using the idTech 4 engine (famous for Doom 3).

As you can see from the movie below, Hexen : Edge of Chaos looks to become a really decent follow-up to my old favorite.


Hopefully id or Raven Software don't decide to cut my excitement short by pulling a Chrono Trigger: Chrimson Echoes on it.

Either way, I will kill no less than ten pirates in your honor.
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Call of Duty: Black Ops Plagued by Bugs!

In what is sure to be known as CoD Gate 2010, Call of Duty: Black Ops features a glitch that makes the game almost unplayable. As you can see in the video details below, this bug is sure to destroy the online component of this game!


I totally agree with XxRAPISARDIxX in his claiming that "This is the most overpowered thing in the game because it doesn't even adhere to the laws of gravity."

Personally, shit like this is why I gave up on the whole Call of Duty franchise. I mean, come on...what's next? A floating Pineapple?
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Holy Epic iOS game!

OK, so this Infinity Blade game for iOS looks kind of cool. I won't go spooging all over it like other media outlets, cause I have yet to actually play the thing, but judging from just the trailer I'd be lying if I said I wasn't excited.


Overall I think there's one big thing that stands out in the gameplay footage and that's the swipe attacking. Developers are running to recreate their favorite style of game on iOS devices using virtual keypads and buttons, but it doesn't really work. I don't know if I believe touch screen gaming will be the future, but I certainly think that touch screen games need a whole new approach if they are to properly entertain their audience. Looks like Epic is paying attention.

Additionally, I'm feeling like this might actually be a "hard core" game. Meaning that it's not just the next Angry Birds casual sensation destined to taken the mobile market by the short hairs. We all know that mobile gaming is going to be a driving factor when it comes to your next phone choice, but what we don't know is if we'll be replacing our Xboxes with iPads.

What I do know is that trailers like this make my blackened ninja heart beat two to three times per hour!
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Have you played League of Legends?

What the hell is League of Legends? Well, let me tell you. I had never even heard about this game until my good friend BobRossF over at Fight Guild talked me into downloading it this weekend.


Basically, from what I can tell it's kind of a follow-up to the super-successful Defense of The Ancients (DoTA) game. Using what appears to be the WarCraft 3 engine. League of Legends (LoL) puts you back into the familiar top down RTS scenario with one major exception...no fucking Koreans...no army management.

In fact, they've come up with a very elegant system which from my point of view, plays very much like Blizzard's own Diablo 3 PVP. Granted...LoL has a kind of tower defense wrapped in that helps to define the game even further.

Like any great game, it's easy to get started yet hard to master. Control wise, you're really only responsible for one hero, let's call him Billy Cracknugget? You see...you just run Billy around an arena slaughtering people with your giant crack cleaver. All the while, bases on both sides of the arena are spawning crack defenders which defend your crack towers. The management of Mr. Cracknugget is made easy by the fact that their are only six possible buttons besides your mouse, and the rest is left up to personal strategy. The winners are the first team to smack down the enemies Crack House.

That pretty much describes the exact gameplay, except as far as I know there isn't any crack in the game.

You may be asking yourself, "How much is this going to cost me? But that's the fun part, it's FREE! Seriously...completely free. You don't even need to have Warcraft 3 installed. The game is completely stand alone. It uses a nice system of micro-transactions to fuel the economy and allow you to unlock some extra fun, but from what I've seen...it's completely optional.

With an insane amount of customization and experience gathering not to mention a full-fledged ladder competition featuring real money prizes, I'd think this game has quite a bit of shelf life. Not to mention there must be over 40 heroes to choose from!

Well, now that I'm obviously writing game reviews...I guess go play it or something. Tell Riot Games NinjaCamp sent you and maybe nothing will happen.
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Real quick...

This ad on the right hand corner of our site for "Roast My Weenie" has got to be the greatest fucking advertisement I've ever seen.

I mean...not only is it oozing class with the white trash, high heal wearing, I assume Texan...it's selling THIS!

I mean, who wouldn't fucking need that! I love it...I'm seriously buying one for KielbasaCon! Where's my ninja debit card?!
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Amazing acheivement from the biggest douche

I've got to say, I've played my fair share of Modern Warfare 2, and I've never seen anything like this. This fucking douche-bag pulls off a tactical nuke just 33 seconds after the game starts.


For those of you not into the whole Modern Warefare 2 thing, it takes 25 uncontested kills just to unlock it, let alone find a spot where some other asshole doesn't shoot you in the head while you're deploying it.

This guys voice over confirms that I made the right decision to stop playing this game.
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Phoenix for iPhone

I just picked up a new iPhone game by the name of Phoenix. It's your basic top down space shooter, except that it never ends. In fact, the entire game is about top scores.


The engine behind the game produces a dynamic assortment of enemies and artificial intelligence. You truly never play the same game twice.

The enemies are a little repetitive, but the weapon upgrades certainly make up for that. It actually feels like your weapon changes with every item drop.

The controls are okay, but it can be difficult to dodge with your finger covering most of the ship. It would be ideal if the creators were to make the ship's cockpit (the only damageable part) extend beyond the bulk of your finger.

From the looks of it I think they are just testing the iOS market to see if this game is worth continued development. Even still, the game as it is, remains fun to play.

For .99 cents I can't help but recommend it.
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My Food Fight

My sweet baby is home at last. I've wanted an Atari Food Fight arcade cabinet for as long as I can remember, and I finally got one! I mean...NinjaCamp corporate has finally got one! (tax laws are fun).

The game came to me via my good friend eBay where I just so happened to stumble over the auction for it while tooling the web. Right out of the box, she was a real beauty. All original, artwork and electronics, no damage to her sleek figure, and coin slots so tight they can barley accept a nickle.

Oh yes, she's quite an amazing creation, and she's now all mine!

I've already done a little bit of restoration just to make sure that she keeps on looking as fantastic as she did right out of the factory. Thanks to yet another eBay auction, I was able to get a brand new control panel overlay, which really lifted her spirits. On top of that, I found a brand new gimbal joystick to tighten her play to the maximum level.

If you've never played Atari Food Fight, you're missing out. It's probably one of the best games ever made, and nobody has it...KielbasaCon does!

You can all look forward to seeing Ninja F high atop the Twin Galaxies scoreboard in no time.
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Preload Cataclysm without pre-ordering

I read a useful little tip over at WoW.com/WoW Insider/Joystiq/whatever the fuck they call themselves now.

Basically you can set your current WoW installation to start preloading and installing the impending WoW expansion starting now.


This will supposedly reduce your huge installation time when it comes to installing the real thing. Additionally it helps people like me, who must have the collectors edition, get the game installed while I'm waiting in a cold and smelly line.

All you need to do is this:
  1. Make sure WoW is closed, including the launcher and background downloader
  2. Open your WoW WTF folder (usually C:\ProgramFiles\World of Warcraft\WTF)
  3. Edit the value for "accountType" in Launcher.wtf and Config.wtf from "LK" to "CT"
  4. Go eat a sausage, cause you're done

Hopefully this makes the five hour DVD install a thing of the past.
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We switched

I guess "we" didn't do anything...I decided to tell Ninja J to shove it and switched our ads to Project Wonderful. A friend of mine over at Monkey AdventureBlog turned me onto it a while ago, but since then...I've never really felt good about sticking ads other than our own on the site.


Turns out Ninja J's ninja babies are still starving, so let's rock some Project Wonderful for a while.

I'll be sure to let everyone know when the millions start rolling in.
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Pac-Man Championship Edition DX!

Oh wow, what do we have here? Is it maybe a sequel to one of my favorite Xbox 360 turned iPhone titles, Pac-Man Championship Edition? Oh yes, I think it is!


Click the image to view the video Updated with actual video...it looks amazing. Just the kind of upgrades the title needed without breaking the core, obsessive gameplay.

I'm really excited to get my hands on this! (and my wiener)