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I got blisters on me fingers!

So, I downloaded Team Meat's new Super Meat Boy and holy shit it's hard. There's this "hardest platformer ever" craze going around the industry and I'd say Super Meat Boy is right up there.

I think I've logged about 2 hours of gameplay and my thumb looks like I held it on a belt sander. I haven't had thumb pain like this since I played Super Nintendo Street Fighter II for 24 hours straight!

The controls are nice and tight, and unlike most of these games you get to choose from a variety of unlock-able characters which all seem to have different styles of gameplay. I don't know, at this point I've unlocked three of them and I feel like that is about the most I'm ever going to get.Additionally they tossed in these cool throwback levels that act like you are playing inside of an NES or GameBoy. I also unlocked this negative world that is all jacked up and looks like a kill screen from a classic arcade.

All in all, I think Team Meat is the type of development duo I could grow to love, with the FAQ on their site saying things like...

Question: When is this coming out on PS3?
Answer: Never.

Question: Why should I pay for this? Its free on Newgrounds!
Answer: It's not the same game idiot, die in a carpet fire.

Question: Where is the level editor?
Answer: Maybe.

and their development philosophy being based on meat...I really think they are breaking into exciting new ground.
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Your comments matter

Up until the "Salamaroni v1.0.9" (that's our site version) your comments didn't do shit. In fact, you were lucky if Ninja J or I even responded to them as we are so busy trying to feed Ninja J's ninja babies.

But that has all changed! Well, not all of it...we still need your MONEY...but the comment thing is better.

If you haven't already noticed...your comments have been sexed up for all to see. Because of this, they matter more than ever!

So, I encourage our regular commenters (is that a word?) to comment more, and our not so regular commenters to start commenting like your life depends on it...cause it might!
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Yes, those are ads...

Don't be alarmed my sweet Ninjas, Ninja J is forcing me to defile our sexy site with advertisements. I guess the goal here is to actually make money since his ninja babies are starving...I mean, check out this flier he handed out for our new T-shirts.

I mean, on one hand, you can tell your friends for one super-low monthly price they can own some valuable real-estate, on the other hand we're now huge web whores.

Please buy more shirts so that I don't have to listen to Ninja J's babies crying!
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Diablo 3 PVP Arena Screenshots

Here are some BlizzCon screenshots of the Diablo 3 PVP Arena. I was kind of down on this until I learned that it won't impact the PVE game at all. Now I'm kind of excited!

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BlizzCon 2010 Costumes - Mostly horrible ones

Some of these costumes are really questionable. I asked Ninja J to take pictures of the good costumes and I think he got distracted with making his neckbeard gallery (more on that later).

I'll let you be the judge...

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We love The D!

The Tenacious D concert was amazing! They even brought their real drummer, Dave Grohl! Here is just one of the sweet pictures we managed to grab!

That's wizards KG, not lizzards!
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WoW Cataclysm Cinematic Trailer

In case you haven't already seen it, here is the beautiful cinematic trailer for World of Warcraft Cataclysm. They said this took nearly a year to create. We were treated to a special showing during was very impressive.

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Diablo 3 Q&A | We asked the questions...

I had the pleasure to participate in a Diablo 3 Q&A session, and in true ninja fashion, I dominated the question asking.

Here's what happened:

How is the game structured? Does it follow the same "Act" mechanic as Diablo 1&2?
At this point, Blizzard hasn't quite decided. They have considered many different approaches including ideas taken from the super successful World of Warcraft.

How are you guys going to handle resistances, will that still be a big part of the game?
This will still be a big part of the game, but it's hard to say exactly how it's going to effect the play.

How many players will be able to play in one instance?
The game currently allows a 4 player max. This is not a technical limitation, it's a fun limitation. With more than 4 people the game starts to feel too crazy, and confusing.

Will Diablo 3 have addons?
In a word...No. They feel addons are not needed at this time.

What about Guilds? Will Diablo 3 have something that allows Clans and Guilds to form and communicate?
There haven't been any decisions made yet

What about the there some sort of center of trade across individual games?
They hate the way that players are forced to make unique instances in order to trade or sell items. This is a huge concern for Diablo 3, yet there is no current update about how this will work.

How do you play to keep the game balanced when dealing with PVE and PVP?
Diablo is a PVE focused game and will maintain being a PVE focused game. They will create entirely new skills/spells or balance existing skills/spells independent from PVE. They are well aware of the struggles that WoW has had with this, and will do everything they can to not repeat it.

Will the PVP zones be dynamic like the levels of Diablo 3?
At this point they are still testing how the game plays. The PVP arenas are built on top of the same engine as the actual game. It's entirely possible that the arenas may be dynamic but this has yet to be decided.

How far along is the development, is the game almost ready?
The game isn't ready until you're playing it (implying BETA). There is still a lot of work to be done, so don't expect it anytime soon. This is going to be a huge game and one of the most expensive Blizzard has ever produced. They want to make sure it's a great game before they push it out to the public.

What about the game's physical file size? Is it concerning to you that WoW has gotten to the point where it requires 20+ gigs?
They are very aware of this. Obviously they are testing streaming technologies with WoW and that will continue. Anything that the WoW team uses, the Diablo team will use if needed. This will save them a lot of effort and allow them to focus on developing a good game rather than worrying about file size.

Will there be a Cow Level?
In Diablo 2 there is an item called the chat gem which will actually answer your question. (No idea what this means by the way)

What about boss battles
Blizzard really likes Zelda as an example. They look to have a game where the bosses are a natural fit within the normal PVE game. They like how Zelda's bosses have logical phases.

What is the state of Runewords? Are they going to be as rare as in Diablo 2
Runes have been implemented in a completely new way. They now apply to skills and do not form runewords. The completely new crafting system will take the place of runewords.

What about Diablo 3 on consoles? Is it going to happen?
Blizzard is a game company, they will continue to make whatever great games on whatever great hardware they can. There is no current plan to create, or NOT create console games.
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WoW Cataclysm new Instances

Here is a great video overview of the new World of Warcraft Cataclysm Instances.
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Diablo 3 PVP Arena

This video gives you an idea of what the Diablo 3 PVP Arena is going to look like. Sounds like there is still a lot of work to be done here.
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Diablo 3 Multiplayer

This is a new video showcasing some multiplayer aspects of Diablo 3.
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Diablo 3 Demon Hunter Gameplay

Here's the newest, and last class announced for Diablo 3. This video gives you a good idea of what early builds of the Demon Hunter look like.
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Goblins are Guidos

Now that the Goblins are near complete, I've come to realize that they mimic the Jersey Shore in almost every way. Their speech, clothing and general life-style ranks high on the Snooki meter.

I must say, their starting zone is fantastic. A huge mechanized metropolis, teaming with all sorts of fantastic Goblin creations.

Within the first 10 minutes of play I was granted the keys to my very own Goblin hoopty mobile. The preceding quests mimic Sega's Crazy Taxi in that you're running around and picking people up. The car controls allow you to speed boost, honk the horn and play the radio.

Overall, I have to say it's great. I really didn't want to start a new Goblin character...but this was much more fun that I expected.
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Chris Metzen STILL approves!

Our old buddy (who knows nothing about us) was willing to snap this quick pic this morning. You can tell how annoyed his is by the look on his face, but you know...NinjaCamp needs content.

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Kat Hunter sucks!

Jay Mohr's set was flat out raped by this Kat Hunter woman who thinks she is entertaining. I'm so fucking disappointed!

I fucking swear, if this woman dares to interrupt The D tomorrow night I'm going to take a poop in the the middle of the press room.

You hear me Blizzard?!
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Jay Mohr Time

Jay Mohr is out, doing his thing. I'm sitting with the peons so that I can enjoy the company of assholes.

Look how far back they are! Ok, I'm going to stop for a few so I can sit back and enjoy. Also, don't expect shit during Tenacious D tomorrow.
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I uploaded a huge Diablo 3 video...

Fucking YouTube! It let me upload a 17 minute video of all the new gameplay...then promptly told me that it was too long. No way to edit it. So now I have to upload a few fucking annoying.
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I just killed the Jail Warden

I just spent about 30 minutes with Diablo 3 and I can assure you, it's fucking amazing! All of the things they have done to make the gameplay faster and more modern are really working out.

The game stays true to it's roots, while really flexing some modern muscle. Granted, I'm pretty sure about 80% of the new engine is simply responsible for blood...but that's great.

The voices sound fantastic, the hits sound very satisfying, and my boner was jamming into the table.

I'm going to say that Blizzard could push this out sometime in 2011, but I don't know if they will. A late 2011 release date is certainly possible based on what I'm playing today.
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Blizzard Aiur Chef?

Frankly, I have no fucking idea what this is...I'll try to play it ASAP. Looks interesting.

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Blizzard StarCraft Left 2 Die

This looks like a StarCraft 2 horde mode. Could be really fun...I'll let you know after I play it.

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Blizzard Starjeweled new Screens

OK, so I guess this is Bejeweled made using the StarCraft engine. No word on the Popcap/Blizzard relationship, but they are obviously talking on some level.

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Blizzard StarCraft Dota new Screens

I don't really understand this's like Warcraft 3's DOTA with Warcarft and StarCraft characters?

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WoW Cataclysm new Screens

And some WoW...

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Diablo 3 new Screens

Brand new Diablo 3 Screenshots from BlizzCon 2010!

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Press time

I'm waiting in line for the press room right now. Just walked past Adam Sessler.

The room looks really set up for the panels and things. Hopefully they have OJ cause I still want it.

Adam is small. I guess all people on tv are just tiny? I'll try to sit next to him. I think you get ahead in this business by giving free hand jobs?

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Diablo 3

Metzen is coming out. He is going to tell us something about Diablo 3.

Metzen's words: Horde, Diablo, Alliance, Starcraft…He is building something up.

5th word: Acting like it's dirty…I think it's hero? It's Geek?

I guess he is going to show slides about how he is a Geek? This is odd.

Showing lots of geeky stuff. Transformers, D20, Conan, Thundercats, Batman, Matrix, Doom…still going. Lots of stuff I don't care to type.

Where is my Diablo 3 shit?

Announcement: The demon hunter. Last playable Diablo 3 Demon class.

Diablo 3 PVP arenas.

Wow, that's it? Umm. Kind of lame :(.

Showing the cataclysm trailer.

And it's done. WTF, that was nothing. Thought they might have something a lot more exciting.
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It begins!

The voice just spoke!

I'll try to get as many picture as I can. Might have to post them afterward due to AT&Ts inability to handle 10 iPhones in the same room.

Update: Oh shit! Dekard Cain just spoke. Expecting Diablo 3 to be the focus. That confirms it I think.

Update: Lights down

Update: Showed a game montage. Gary Platner is speaking.

Update: Morhaime is out.

Announcement: Releasing custom Starcraf 2 games using the map editor. Sounds like totally different games using the existing engine.

He says they donated 1.1 mil to make-a-wish via the panderan pet.

Announcement: Releasing a new moonkin pet for charity. Auctioning off old server hardware? WTF.

Update: Making double rainbow jokes. Not very funny but I guess he is trying.

Update: Showing year highlights.

Update: Music is loud. My ears are hurting :)

Announcement: Cataclysm can be pre-ordered online from Blizzard. They are steaming it I guess.
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Big changes

Wow! Huge changes to the stage this year. It's a complete different orientation. It's huge. Hopefully Jay Mor has enough room to do that baby juggling thing he's so good at.

Update: It's lonely up here. I need my Ninja J lovin.

Update: I feel like I should be typing something because all of these other press nerds are jizzing all over their computers.

Update: Plugged my phone into my battery charger and the Internet is about 500 times better!

Update: I could use some gum.

Update: Ninja J and Madison are like a mile away in some parking lot. I guess they overbooked it this year? They said the line is fucking ridiculous.

Update: I'm socializing with the other press nerds…they gave me gum. I feel so included!

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The waiting game

Well, I've made it as far as the press line. Basically, a long line filled with people who smell like they just ate shit.

It also is the "special needs" line. Which apparently means "too fat to walk" at BlizzCon 2010.

Let's hope AT&T doesn't drop the ball on my Internet connection once I get in.

Update: oh shit! I think the line is moving! I can't wait to get some OJ at the Kraft Services table.

Update: A dude with hair down to his ankles just walked by. Tried to snap a pic but he was too quick.

Update: People in chicken costumes and a girl with her whole ass hanging out. Guy in front of me still hasn't brushed his teeth. Hopefully Ninja J can snap some pics.

Update: They just unleashed the general population and they are screaming and sprinting to the doors. Idiots. It

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BlizzCon Pet Deathy...but it's broken

I'm guessing this thing isn't working correctly since it's behaving exactly the same as the Murloc Marine from last, you be the judge.

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BlizzCon Swag and Deathwing Figure

Here it is, our fat pile of loot. It's been reduced considerably from years past. I guess Tenacious D broke the bank?

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Yes, we are PRESS

Welcome to BlizzCon!

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Blizzcon Road Trip!

Well, we are underway to Anaheim and Blizzcon 2010! So far Madison has screwed us out of pumpkin pie blizzards with his boss navigational skills. Ninja F is readying the press pass for some swanky behind the scenes stuff, and we are all really excited for Tenacious D. God, typing on this iPad sucks. Anyways, we will keep you updated throughout the weekend. Check out the new classic gaming shirts in our store :)
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Kielbasa sausage, your butt cheeks is warm

I'm pulling a late night, trying to get NinjaCamp ready for BlizzCon 2010. Then it hit me, in four short days I'll have Jack Black and Kyle Gass right in front of me...hopefully signing one of our sausage based fliers.

You might not think Tenacious D is a good choice for BlizzCon 2010, but that would make you wrong!

I'll be doing cock push-ups the rest of the night in preparation!
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Cataclysm official release date

Ok, I guess Blizzard got sick of all of the release date rumors and decided just to tell us exactly when it is shipping the highly-anticipated add-on.

It looks like December 7th is the magic day. As usual they will offer the Windows/Macintosh DVD for $39.99, the sexy Collector's Edition for $79.99 and new this year, a digital download variety.

Personally, I'm kind of sick of the game and looking forward to some new least until Diablo 3 comes out!