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I knew he could be the greatest!

There was a brief period in my life where I was obsessed with the Xbox Live Arcade game Pacman C.E.

I actually got to a point where I was sitting around 260th in the world rankings. Alas, I didn't have the dedication to become #1. (especially since I learned the #1 score was a bug...fuck you Namco!) You see, it takes a special kind of mentality to be the best...I was simply a better than average casual player.

But then I met Steve. As I watched Steve play his first game of Pacman C.E. I instantly recognized his potential. Within his first week, he was consistently out performing 95% of my friends. In no time flat, he was pushing upwards toward my high score. He truly had the makings of a champion. Except one small issue continued to hold him back, he didn't own an Xbox 360!

Sans Xbox, Steve would never be able to rival the greats like Billy Mitchell, Steve Wiebe, or Mr. Awesome. I worked tirelessly trying to convince him to buy an Xbox 360, but my efforts were in vain. You see, for some reason, Steve bought a PlayStation 3!

Heartbroken, I never thought I would see the day where Steve would enter The Hall of Video Game Legends. That is until Today! I would like to show you what I believe to be the highest Pacman C.E. iPhone score in the world!

Weighing in at a hefty 712,440 points, Steve has truly set the bar for Pacman C.E. iPhone! Now if only Twin Galaxies had a mobile gaming section (get on it guys) and if Namco would build an online leaderboard for the iPhone version (really?? you didn't just build that in??) Steve could take his rightful place as champion.

Steve, thank you for the great video. Good luck reaching 800k. :)
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Ninjas and green beer

In-line with our efforts to completely whore ourselves out, we're rolling our latest t-shirt creation, the "St. Patty's Day Massacre!"

This fine ass piece of cotton features a rainbow, shamrock and a ninja star (indicating something went really wrong at your St. Patrick's Day party).

It retails for the amazing price of $17.49, but if you act RIGHT NOW we'll knock %15 off of your entire order!
(Totaling $35.00 or more. Must live in the US. No returns, refunds or IOUs. All sales are final. Tshirt glows green if my dixie wrecked.)
How can you pass this up???
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It's Still F'ing StarCraft

You know, the one thing that I've learned about StarCraft II so far is that it is still fucking StarCraft and I'm terrible at it! Shit, I don't even think the beta is out in Korea yet and I still get my ass handed to me in every game.

I keep thinking the Terrans are going to nut up and shoot some fucking Protoss in the face, but aparently I am expecting too much. Typically by the time I've got 10 marines, a giagantic Protoss flying fortress drops a fucking black hole in the middle of my settlement.

Hopefully I find some horrible competition before I throw my mouse out the window!

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That proves it, we're better than you!

I just wanted to take a moment to flaunt NinjaCamp's latest exclusive invite. It turns out that we have been invited to beta test this little game called StarCraft II. Maybe you've heard of it?

Ehh, probably's just a tiny little thing. I'm sure you'll have your first round beta invitations before you know it :P.

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Lazy, Busy or Sick

I know our loyal followers are chomping at the bit for some fresh articles and our patented "super-biased opinions." However we have been combination busy, sick and lazy. Of course, now that Ninja S runs the show, I'll point out that this is all his fault!

Regardless, I did want to leave you with a quick update on what I'm currently playing. I got a little thing called Dante's Inferno and it''s fucking crazy.

I won't bother with a full review cause I'm currently sick and of course lazy. I will tell you that it is a decent game. A game which could have been fantastic if someone would have said "let's polish this thing up before advertising during the super bowl." Sadly, EA's motto: I don't give a shit about quality ruins any chance for Sausage Gold.

That said, I am enjoying it and it is doing a fine job of filling the gaping hole God of War least until next month.
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Drink it in

A lot of people ask me, "How does NinjaCamp make money?" I of course promptly respond "Fuck!"

If you really must know, our current business plan calls for selling as much shit as possible whilst developing games. While we aren't quite kicking ass in either of those departments, we still want to shower you with as many items as possible.

So I'd like to introduce you to our latest product, the Ninja Water Bottle/Sausage Holster!

This all aluminum, piece of ass is primed and ready for your water or sausages. (You can tell that it's ready for sausages because of the stylish "100% Kielbasa Approved" badge!) Displaying the fine NinjaCamp branding you've all come to love, this bottle is sure to please!

So??? I know...amazing! Just buy one!
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Kielbasa Challenge!

Ninja F, you have been officially challenged! I look forward to your swift ass-kicking in the near future, and my TOTAL CONTROL OF NINJACAMP. Let the peasants rejoice!