Read More Ninja Action!

No help from my ninja!

Ninja S is gone!

I mean, he's not really gone, or dead, or anything...he's just in Spain. You know...secret ninja stuff. It happens.

The real problem is what do I do without my ninjariffic cohort?

My first inclination was to do nothing at all...but that just isn't going to build the web traffic. So now I'm thinking I'll just do the post myself. I mean, how hard could it be?

Let's see here...I'll need to come up with a story. Hmmm....think. Maybe something about ninjas? Ya, ninjas are a good topic. OK, now I need a about prepping classic games for 2010? Ya, that's good! We need to update old games so that they will impress the generation LMNOP kids.

OK, so let's focus on the best of the best...Ninja Gaiden! This classic masterpiece needs just a bit of tweaking to blow the socks of those gen whatever kids.

Already looking good and I haven't even touched it! I mean look at this guy! He's at least twice as tall as the tallest building in the city; which coincidentally is exploding (bet he had a hand in that). His muscles are so big that they are actually fighting against each other for prime bicep real estate. Hell, even his forearms are ribbed for her pleasure!

Ya, I'd say we're off to good start!

So what will the kids of tomorrow look for in their games? Hmmm...candy? No...ummm...ponies? Nah...not that. Ahh, I got it! Guns!

It's a proven fact that the 6-12 year old demographic just loves guns! We get letters all of the time saying "this game needs more guns!"

Swords are for pussies's all about guns in Y2K10!

Hmmm...something is still missing. Ahhh...of course...missiles! 85% of 14-18 year old gamers won't even play games lacking a six missile per hour minimum. Let's just fix that up...

That looks good, but it really needs that one extra thing that future gamers will be able to identify with.

Come to think of it, the fastest growing segment of gamers is female. Maybe we need a little bling and indecent exposure to keep up with their idols?

There you go...I think we nailed it!

Hopefully Ninja S comes back soon or next week I am going to have to update Spelunker!