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Top Secret Ninja Recipe!


Listen, gamers. I know what you're thinking. "Recipe? What the hell do I look like, Martha Stewart? Subway and Burger King have all the recipes I need!" WRONG. Let me tell you something about this recipe. If the fake ninja gaming association I belong to knew I was giving this shit out on my blog, they would debowel me faster than Shatner knocks on the door after a McDonalds breakfast. These things are so good you will cry like a newborn just from looking at them, let alone from putting them in your filthy mouths.

I literally climbed 7 mountains naked, backwards, and dirty after barely surviving an encounter with the Ravenous Demon Children of Schnai'nai Citadel just to get this fucker. All this just because I know college football is about to begin, and a ninja needs sustenance for a weekend filled with Batman and ass-kicking.

Without further ado, I give you... NINJA BALLS.

Make them. Make them and DIE FROM PLEASURE.

Ninja Balls

16 oz. peanut butter - Use JIF for god's sake, and none of this crunchy nonsense.
1 lb. powdered sugar
1 stick butter or margarine

Mix together...roll into small balls...chill. If you don't listen to me and neglect to chill these for a while, you will dishonor your ancestors AND fail epically at making ninja balls. You will be left with something stupid like Alliance Rhomboids.

12 oz. chocolate chips - Use Nestle Tollhouse unless you hate good things.
1 tablespoon Crisco - Not the Crisco you use for that, what the hell is wrong with you?

Melt together in double boiler. Dip peanut butter balls in the chocolate mixture using a toothpick or ninja spike BUT LEAVE THE TOP BARE. "Ninja S, why would we leave the top bare?" Well, I'll tell you why. If you don't leave a spot for all the awesome these are filled with to slowly leak out over time, THEY WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR BODY. You want your entrails liquefied? Not me.

Lay on wax paper until firm. Don't you dare eat these until they are firm like the mind of a ninja. Firm and delicious. You might even need your freezer or refridgerator to help with that. It is impossible to not eat 40 of these at a time so you might want to double the recipe.