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Castlevania: And my huge erection

In my opinion, this year's E3 has been great! I mean, I thought E3 was gone...four years ago...then it, I guess wasn't gone?? Now it's back with a vengeance! I'll try to give you my 2 minute run-down:

Microsoft's "Project Natural Tits" looks to be very ambitious but interesting; I would say considerably more interesting than Sony's "Project Testicle on a Stick." God of War III seems unreal. It actually hurt my liver to watch Kratos eviscerate that centaur. Super Mario Galaxy 2 aims to be the perfect sequel to one of the most brilliant games of the last decade. Super Super New Super Mario Bros. Super Nintendo Wii makes me think that my girlfriend might actually want to play video games again. Metriod: The other white Meat brings the limb-hacking expertise of Team Ninja into the Metroid franchise. Even Brutal Legend...umm...has Jack Black?

Enough rambling though...I want to talk about the pant ripping boner that is Castlevania: Lords of Shadows. Finally, Konami is taking this license seriously! Fucking Patrick Stewart! That's what I'm talking about! I'll be waxing my whip every day until this little bastard hits store shelves.

All in all, good job out there! I'm fairly pleased with the announcements of E3 2009. I would probably be even more pleased if GOD DAMN NinjaCamp was there, in person, checking booth babes for breast cancer!